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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30114090">Because You Cry</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishipzalldathings/pseuds/ishipzalldathings'>ishipzalldathings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Public Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:54:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30114090</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishipzalldathings/pseuds/ishipzalldathings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>AU!Wishverse, Tara took on the task of looking after Illyria after losing Fred. They ask her many questions and try to figure out why they feel the way they do.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Illyria/Tara Maclay, Winifred "Fred" Burkle/Tara Maclay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Because You Cry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>An old prompt written for Femslash_minis at Livejournal, the prompt was stone and sea. I'm sure I have plenty more of these old prompt fics laying around somewhere. I'm updating and rewriting a lot of old things currently.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>
  <span>"Will you kiss me?" Tara held Fred in her arms, leaning in to kiss her lightly on the lips. Those kisses she would never forget, not ever. Fred reached up and wipes away tears that fell down Tara’s face, “Would you have loved me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean would? I have loved you since I’ve known you.” Tara tilted her chin up and pulled the brunette closer. “I will always love you.” A kiss to her lips, and suddenly Fred jerked, crying as pain invaded her chest. Painful choking coughs wretched her whole body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fred hold on now- don't," Tara reaches over to grab a wet cloth, but Fred grasps her harder. "Baby?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I need you to talk to my parents. They have to know I wasn't scared, that-that it was quick. That I wasn't scared. Oh god, Tara!" When her body starts to convulse, Tara holds on even as Fred's whole body nearly knocks her across the room. Tara takes hold of Fred and pulls her back in, looking her right in the eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You have to fight. You don't have to talk. Just fight this because I need you, baby, please – hold on." Fred held on to Tara's shoulders and looked back into her eyes, quivering.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not scared." Her grip becomes loose, and she slumps in Tara's arms. Voice barely above a whisper, eyes staring off as if she is in a faraway place. "Please, Tara, why can't I stay?" She goes still, and her breath stops. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>A year later... </strong>
  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Illyria stood on a cliff that overlooked the ocean, staring out into its depths. There was a memory of this place that caused their heart to race, "I do not understand these feelings." Illyria looked over beside them and saw Tara standing there, eyes filled with sorrow. "Why do I feel this way?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's humanity; you're feeling her feelings." Tara reached out and stroked Illyria's face; the blue god flinched a bit. "It's what we humans do."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I do not wish to be plagued by these feelings. Get rid of them. I don't know how to deal with it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Try." Tara sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not acceptable."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, too damn bad. I'm sick of being your lap dog – Fred's gone." Tara turned around and started to walk away, stopping when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked over and saw Illyria staring at her, "Are you crying?" Tara turned to face the god fully and saw a single tear run down her cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Do not go, please. Help me understand because I need to understand." Tara could have sworn she saw their hair flash brown – just a second, but it was enough to make her stay.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What do you need?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Do not get angry with me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I promise nothing."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I have a strong urge to kiss you, and I don't know why. Explain." Tara crossed her arms and took a deep breath, "Why do I feel this way?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You have her memories, don't you know why?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes, but I do not understand. Why do you feel for someone of your own gender? Do you not wish to copulate with a male and have spawn?" Tara actually started laughing; it lasted a minute before she stopped. "What?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Follow me," She took Illyria by the hand and led them down a path, taking them to the water's edge. "Yes, I wish to one day have a child, but I do not wish to have sex with a man. I love girls, and I don't know why but I was born that way. Next, we don't call them spawn. we call them babies."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But how can you have babies if you have no male to provide semen?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Plenty of places, but we'll talk about that another day." Tara found a smooth stone to sit on and motioned for Illyria to join her. The god stared down at the rock, fingers running over the stone. Something had taken place here before – something between Tara and Fred? Illyria sat after a moment and looked out into the sea, memories flashing in vivid pictures in their eyes. They sat in silence for a while, and only when Tara started to cry did Illyria turn to face her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What is wrong?" Illyria did not understand why Tara cried all the time, the slightest word or faint memory, and it had the girl weeping like a child. This, of course, wasn't the first time, and it happened a lot – mostly when they were alone. Tara had taken it upon herself to care for Illyria, Angel asked, and Tara agreed. For the last year, Tara had answered all of the god's questions, some answers she found lacking. "Answer."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, its-its nothing." Tara stiffened as the god reached over and wiped at one of her salty tears. Bringing it to their own lips and tasting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You cry the sea, and you say nothing is wrong, I've lived billions of years – do not lie to a god."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"The truth?" The god nodded, and Tara's eyes hardened. "I hate you so much at times, but when I look at you, all I see is her. You stole her from me, and for that, I will never forgive you. I will weep and sob for the rest of my days. Because you murdered my love and wear her body as your own, I am reminded every day that she is gone." Illyria withdrew their hand and nodded, looking away into the water for a moment. "There is your answer."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Thank you, I now understand. If you'd allow it, I'd like to lie to you now." Tara looked over to ask Illyria what they meant, but her words caught at the sight of Fred sitting beside her. "I'm sorry I stole her from you. I didn't pick her – Knox did."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why do you taunt me further with her face? Why?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I wish to give you a moment of happiness – a moment where you can pretend."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What are you talking about?" Tara gasped as Illyria's lips found her own, a soft sensual kiss. A kiss she remembered and would remember until her own dying breath. Illyria's hands pulled her in close and found each sensitive spot that drove Tara crazy. She moaned into the god's mouth and let herself be lied to – one last time. The gods' fingers slipped beneath Tara's skirt and up to ease along calf and thigh. Tara gasped as Illyria's fingers grazed her sex and teased with feather-light touches. She could feel the slick heat that collected on her panties. Her body quivered with each touch – this was Fred. Her lover knew everything about her body, where to touch and how to tease, and precisely what to say. Her mind flashed to the night they had shared on the beach. Tara's lips curled into a smile as Fred pressed her against this very stone. Suddenly she was back to reality as two fingers entered her – two fingers, knuckle deep. "Oh god." Illyria had pulled Tara to them, wrapping her legs around their waist. Finger thrusting inside as Tara rocked her hips and let the feeling overtake her. She could feel the stone and sand beneath her, scraping her tanned skin as the ocean waves crashed against the rocks. "Mm, oh yes!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I remember this; I remember everything." Illyria thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tara could no longer help herself and found her own hand slipping between them. Foreplay was over at this point, and she took her the same – two fingers, knuckle deep. Tara wasn't sure when they had shed their clothes. Perhaps it was magic, but right now, that didn't matter. Illyria had her pressed against the stone. They rocked together and moaned each other's names. As they came down, their lips pressed together, slow and sensual.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Fred will always be with you." They whispered sweetly in her ear, kissing just below her lobe. "I have her memories, but you'll always have more. You'll have her heart. I free her from limbo," Tara pulled back from the gods embrace, looking up into her now royal blue eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"She was in limbo, a prisoner?" Tara was angry and pulled to get free. Illyria kept her close and dare not let her go. "Let me go, how dare you!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Be silent," They placed a hand over Tara's mouth and held her firmly. "hear what I have to say, be still." Tara wasn't sure why but she kept her mouth closed. "I'm sorry," and the god had truly meant it – for a moment, their eyes had a flash of humanity. "I set her free."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why, why do you set her free?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Because I cannot stand to see you cry. When I look at you, I am reminded of all the times you shared; I feel as though I am Fred, and I wish to weep like the sea. The consequences will be great, but I will accept whatever comes."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What will happen to you?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I will fade away, and this body will once again be a shell."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You'll die?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, my essence will be returned to my tomb."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Why, why would you do this?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Did you not hear me? I cannot stand to see you cry."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>End.</span>
</p>
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